[I wrote this account in September 2004. I'm reposting it here to provide context to my previous post and to get it on a different server -- in case anything happens to Indymedia's archives, as has been known to happen! As you read this, please keep in mind that things have changed dramatically since 2001, when this all started. At that time, 9-11 truth activists were are rare as hen's teeth. I strongly doubt an expensive campaign of harassment would be launched against someone like me today.]
If you're an anti-war activist, a 9-11 truth activist, or simply a thorn in the side of the ruling elite, you may have been a target of non-lethal weaponry and/or assigned harassment, without even knowing it. How can I make this claim? Well, I don't have signed confessions or "60 Minutes style" leaked documents, but I'm a good observer and compiler of anecdotal evidence, and I believe I've been the target of such dirty tactics since November 2001. Please read on before you label me
paranoid, won't you?
One category of "non-lethal" weapons are those which use directed
energy such as microwaves and Extremely Low (wave) Frequencies (ELF). This stuff isn't exactly rocket science. I've read that a directed energy weapon can be made from an old microwave and parts bought from Radio Shack. If you blast someone with microwaves, they're going to become agitated, nervous and sick. That's not hard to believe, is it?
I guess the thing that's hardest to believe is that anyone -- let alone our own government would do such a thing. However, this becomes less difficult to believe when you consider the pepper-spraying of an infant at the Portland anti-Bush protest, the FBI's sinister COINTELPRO operations exposed by Frank Church in the 1970's and the horrendous psychological torture inflicted on inmates at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay. Especially when you consider the fact that the perpetrators of this torture may be independent contractors with no obvious connection to the US government.
In October 2001, I did enough reading and research on the subject to become totally convinced that the official narrative of what took place on September 11th was a load of hogwash. Worse than that, it was obviously hogwash — yet no press agency or legislative body were asking any questions — perhaps not surprising in light of the various anthrax threats perpetrated against them that month. Distraught at the prospect of our country morphing into a fascist state, I fired off a letter to the editor, several e-mails, and plastered a bunch of flyers around town. Admittedly, these are not the actions of your typical, well-adjusted citizen. But how many crisis-era activists fit the description of "typical" and "well-adjusted?"
Not long after this, my home life, already strained, became intolerable. I couldn't think clearly and had to drop out of my courses one by one. Prior to this I had maintained a 4.0 average in my university's Master's Program in Geography. By Christmas the man with whom I was raising my two toddlers took them out of state, supposedly to visit relatives for the holidays and give them a break from the unbearable stress. I soon discovered he had no intention of returning. I was a wreck. I quit my job as a Teacher's Assistant and eventually quit school to chase after my family using money from my student loans. I found myself unable to remember events from one day to the next, which ended up severely damaging my already distant relationship with my parents.
As I look back on it, from the outside it must have seemed like I'd suddenly gone crazy, losing my capacity to think logically. This was understandable to a point — I was under a terrific amount of emotional and financial strain. But that doesn't explain (to me, anyway) the day I drank a cup of cocoa from the hotel lobby, went back to my room, and immediately felt drugged. Most notably I felt extremely laid back and really, really good — the exact opposite of the oppressive, jangled despair I'd been feeling for weeks. I can imagine that being in that state would tend to make someone extremely suggestible. Realizing what must have happened to me, I forced myself to get up and leave the room. As I did, I noticed that it was very difficult for me to walk — and my gait resembled the staggering gait I've noticed in footage of a captive John Walker Lindh and also in prisoners entering Guantanamo Bay Prison.
I got to the hotel lobby and plopped down on the couch. I noticed a big guy in sweats and a buzz cut looking at me oddly. I laid my head back and closed my eyes in a stupor which must have resembled sleep. A bit later the buzz cut guy was gone but I could hear a hushed male voice using the payphone around the corner. "she's here on the damn couch ...!"
I lived in hotels from January until May in 2002. I had serious trouble sleeping. My nerves were frazzled; I kept feeling weird sensations somewhere between being burned and being shocked — from the inside out. I later found out that these symptoms are typical of a directed energy attack. Of course, at the time, I attributed my state to the emotional anguish of losing my family.
Here I'd like to point out my contention that an activist's family is often the first target of a harassment campaign. That's because these guys' foremost goal is to knock out their targets' support systems -- and there is no greater support system than a victim's family. After that comes one's job and church affiliation. In the last two years, I've seen every one of these aspects of my life come under attack. But I'm not the only one this has happened to. For a great case study of systematized harassment, read the last quarter of David Morehouse's book
Psychic Warrior. BTW, Morehouse is an expert on non-lethal weapons and has written about them as well.)
At the beginning of 2002, I became as serious as a person with such meager resources could possibly be about disseminating the truth about 9-11. To be frank, it was a classic case of displacement. I felt totally powerless against my own personal and domestic demons — so I expressed all my vitriol towards the treasonous Bush gang. I posted to newsgroups, distributed pamphlets, even stood out on the street corner with a sign — "Bush is lying about 9-11." Regardless of my reasons, what I was doing was dangerous in the eyes of some very powerful people. I found it impossible to get a job an soon ran out of money, and I believe the directed energy attacks intensified. I soon suffered a nervous breakdown (from which I made a remarkable recovery once I removed myself from that toxic environment). Not long after that, I would be forced to stay in
homeless shelters.
I'm not the only "Enemy of the State" to lose my home the minute I open my mouth, believe me. Mike Ruppert of fromthewilderness.com became homeless for two years, unable to find a job and subjected to extreme psychological stress after exposing the CIA's involvement with
drug-running. Voxfux of voxfux.com hid out from the FBI after they raided his apartment, crashing on the couches of friends.
Here's a couple of personal anecdotes I have about directed energy harassment:
Once, a "homeless" guy I was attracted to persuaded me to leave the Salvation Army to ride with him and his friends to another town. When I got there, I found myself in a place with no shelter at all. Another guy offered to let me stay at his place and since he didn't seem to be interested in me sexually I took him up on it. I slept in a little room with a couch in it. I was covered up on the couch when the guy asked if he could come in and get something from the closet. I said sure. I was facing away from him, but as he was digging the closet I heard a click, as if he had switched something on. He quickly left, and I was suddenly gripped with the same feeling I'd had just before I entered the Crisis Center: a raw-nerved, electrical feeling reminiscent of how I sometimes feel near high voltage wires, magnified a hundred times. Only moments before, I had felt relatively calm (given the situation) and had a plan as to what I was going to do. Yet immediately after the guy left the room, I became panicky, even suicidal. I came dangerously close to bolting out of the room and jumping off a nearby bridge. Knowing what I know now, I am convinced that this mood was artificially induced through wave-frequency technology.
Fortunately, I quickly left and got back to the town where my kids were, where I stayed in various shelters. While I lived with other people, I never had a problem with a directed energy attack. I did, however, have quite a bit of difficulty securing a job. The only jobs I could get were low-end jobs where the employer had essentially hired me on the spot. At this point I'll mention that I have a lot of computer skills and a college degree. I can't even remember all the times when I thought I'd be perfect for a particular position and I couldn't even get an interview.
Perhaps my applications, inquiries and resumes never even made it through the mail. I rarely received any acknowledgements and I know people don't always get my e-mail and voice mail. Once I even received a letter (inviting me to a church function) that was two weeks late but had no post mark on it.
For example, my brother never got my phone message to wish him a happy birthday. He did, however, receive all kinds of harassment from creditors looking for me -though I never gave them his address - I didn't even know it! Funny they never called me, since I had a listed phone number during the 6 months I was eventually employed.
At that time I became a member of Open Arms United Methodist church, which blessed me with a great deal of financial and psychological support. I volunteered to run the media/sound board during services. Things were going great until a couple runs into my stint as church sound technician. It appeared as if someone was deliberately messing with the controls so that things would go wrong with the soundboard, making me look (and feel) foolish and incompetent during the service. Finally I took to coming very early to make sure everything went smoothly and no one had time to mess with the controls. I got an idea of who was behind the mayhem from who kept coming upstairs where the soundboard was, seemingly frustrated at my continued presence. This same person (a well - respected member of a large Methodist church there to assist our smaller, "mission outreach") once came up just before the service, did something in a nearby storage area, and left. I immediately felt the discomfort of what I then recognized as a wave—frequency attack. I went back into the storage area and discovered a large brown box, resembling a '70's—era amplifier, which had been switched on. I switched it off and went back to my board with no further problems. I'm ashamed to say, however, this incident led me to stop attending that church. The atmosphere had morphed from being supportive to stressful, and again a valuable source of support slipped though my fingers.
I'm well aware that everything I've said so far can be easily written off as paranoia - but that's by design. The "beauty" of directed energy weapons is that they can increase brain wave frequency to a state of disabling agitation - a state virtually indistinguishable from acute paranoia. So no one ever investigates any individual cases because they're all coming from people who (a) live alone, (b) exhibit symptoms of paranoia, and (c) are usually financially insolvent. In other words, considered in isolation, these victims resemble head-cases. However, I think if anyone bothered to study these complaints en masse, a pattern would emerge. Namely, many of these people are doing something some very powerful people don't like.
I was at an anti-war rally (I think sometime this January) and I felt the same weird energy I had by that time associated with Extremely Low Frequency (ELF) generators. I also noticed that the speakers mentioned at least three people who had wanted to be there, or give a speech, but couldn't make it because of illness or an accident. The COINTELPRO investigations of the 1970's need to be re-opened. I think there are egregious violations against the health, security, and sanity of conscientious dissenters taking place right now, as we speak, perhaps against you or someone you love. We need to take action now.