"You've gotta care."

UNLESS

Someone like you cares a whole awful lot,

Nothing is going to get better.

It's not.

-- The Lorax

Father's day is coming up this month, the 3rd Sunday of June in most countries, including my own. I remember the best advise my dad ever gave me. As a child I was being petulant about something and said, "I don't care!" And my dad said, "You gotta care." He said it with such finality it stuck with me. I knew it was a life lesson that made all the difference in the world.

We often get what looks to be conflicting advise: "Look before you leap," and "He who hesitates is lost." For the longest time I've been confounded by the seeming conflict between the spiritual ideas of detachment and compassion. How can you care and be detached at the same time? For that matter, what's the difference between forgiveness and letting people walk all over you? There is a difference, but I'm still learning what it is.

This morning I reflected on this. An image popped into my head -- the Tarot card "Strength." In the Rider-Waite version, a lady lovingly holds the lion's mouth. It's as if she's conveying to the lion, "I love you so much I'm not going to let you to hurt me."

"Some people are better loved at a distance," I remember one of the Minimalists saying. You can care about someone or some cause without letting it burn you out. The Serenity Prayer comes to mind:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

This is a life long lesson. As I said, I'm still learning it. But you can't turn your back to everything that's unpleasant in life, you can't close your heart to things that might be unpleasant. You can acknowledge them and determine what you can and cannot do about it, and not worry about the latter. Easier said than done, I guess, but that's the best we can do.